Okay guys, I’ve been seeing a ton of posts lately about River (and many other of Moffat’s female characters) being labeled as over-sexualized and that they do whatever he tells them making them his “servants” (stupid) and how selfish River is with The Doctor. So…
The Name Of The Doctor, and ^^^ this ^^^ kiss here it is not River being selfish at all. Here The Doctor is the selfish one. He can see and hear her the whole time, but he chooses to ignore her because it would hurt him too much to acknowledge her, but then this whole scene happens…
River: How are you even doing that? I’m not really here.
Doctor: You are always here to me, and I always listen. And I can always see you.
River: Than why didn’t you speak to me?
Doctor: Because I thought it would hurt too much.
River: I believe I could have coped.
Doctor: No… I thought it would hurt me. And I was right.
Here he is the one being selfish. He’s holding onto her in his hearts and mind so tightly, that when he can see and hear her (and touch her for that matter) he chooses to do nothing. Now you can say that he does this purely because he thought it would hurt too much, but I also happen to think that part of that reason is because he doesn’t want to let her go. He’s the one being selfish, he’s the one holding on, and he’s the one who doesn’t want to let her go. He doesn’t even want to say goodbye, but because he loves her he does it anyways. I really do think he would give this woman — his wife — anything she wants, not because she’s so authoritative (and independent, and strong), but because he loves her. And he does what any husband in love with his wife does…he gives her what she wants.